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Who does what duties? – Communication Issues

2 Nov

This is a never ending battle, so when I cam across this article on iVillage I couldn’t help but skim through and try to take pointers as to how I can get hubs to pitch in without making him feel belittled as I often seem to do. (First step to change is admitting and if it’s one thing I like to pride myself on the fact that I don’t bullshit, not even myself!)

It did get me thinking though that being young I do know other young mothers with the same issues and I see that divorce is such a prominent occurrence in our everyday lives but what really strikes me is why it happens.

When we complain that our husband doesn’t do the dishes, after we’ve asked for the hundredth time, a friend willingly agrees that this isn’t ‘fair’ behaviour and depending on the extent begins to go so far as saying that you have the worst husband etc. What happens often is that really only my older friends understand the ins and outs, as they’re married and have opinions based on real life, versus if I were to ask a younger friend they really aren’t in the position to really comment, and in turn agree saying – that my husband is a waste of time.

So I get to my point, when our support system is someone who really has no clue, all of these things add to the divorce epidemic, no one likes to hear everyone they trust tell them ‘your man is a waste of time’. However, if we dig deeper we realise that it’s just communication becoming an issue as always, and we have to, as a couple, work on it together, if we expect to solve any problems and move forward at all.

When we are at this point, adjusting with the new addition to our lives, that totally changes our relationship dynamic, it takes a lot of patience and perseverance to work through these problems, which as we all know on the wrong day of the month can equate to the end of the world and our marriage for us! So funny how hormones have a huge part to play in this! Usually when we feel at our worst everything else that you could handle for the month magically becomes UNBEARABLE!

Marriage definitely becomes about reminding ourselves everyday how and why we love this person. Inevitably there are times when it isn’t possible to resolve issues, but for the most part, a lot of the issues are silly things that if we learn to choose our battles, (I say this a lot I know, but it really is true), we’d be in a lot of a better position as a couple moving forward and coping with the day to day stress of it all!

Have you told your husband I LOVE YOU today? Cause I know we all forget often! 😉